Honne and Tatemae - two sides of the same coin

Honne is a person's true feelings and desires, whereas Tatemae literally means 'facade' or the behavior or opinion that one displays in public (quoted from Wikipedia)

These two words are considered to be of immense importance in the Japanese society and pretty much define the behavior of the country's people, when dealing with their peers.Honne and Tatemae are so well integrated into the society that the Japanese tend to behave accordingly, more often without even realizing it. The objective is to avoid any conflicts and maintain a sense of "wa" or harmony in the surroundings.

In the almost 10 years that I have lived in the country, I have never ever seen Japanese voicing their opinions openly, or even expressing their true feelings publicly (except in the nomikais (drink parties) about which I shall talk later). Public confrontations are almost non-existent. Almost everywhere, and especially in the professional world, it is very normal for a Japanese person to say things or behave in a manner which is "socially tuned", often suppressing his/her "natural impulses" and replacing them with what the surroundings or a particular situation may demand. Although people all over the world, sometimes say or do things which they do not mean or intend to and do so in order to avoid conflict, no where does one see the behavior to be as socially acceptable as it is in Japan.

I have often wondered the reason behind this and over the years have come to an understanding that this is kind of a "culture necessity" in a society where team work is an underlying theme in almost everything they do. Makes sense....?

All this obviously comes at a price - it isn't easy for us human beings to be under constant pressure all the time...is it? One needs an outlet - to release all the tension and the stress - and that is what one can see them do - in the numerous (after work) nomikais, in pachinkos, in their obsession for manga, and so many other things.

Of course, not all of the things are negative - they also find release in their hobbies, art, theme parks, movies, exercise, etc. At occasions like these you will be surprised to see the normally polite and reserved Japanese go totally wild and immerse themselves into the mood.

Personally, I had to struggle a lot till I finally got a hang of this social behavior. I remember feeling very frustrated, puzzled and sometimes extremely uncomfortable with this initially. It definitely does not come across as something which one can accept easily. I had colleagues with whom I worked for an year and they were so very formal and reserved in their behavior throughout the year - it was almost like I did not know them. Yet, the very same people would be extremely friendly, open and talkative in the drink parties, numerous outings that we went for, etc. However, with time and a lot of struggle I have come to accept this behavior, though I must admit that it still feels somewhat unacceptable at times. I am sure I am not alone when I say this - many of my friends who have lived in Japan for some time and are reading this have also experienced something similar?

What is surprising is, that many of my Japanese friends are also frustrated with such social norms and yearn to work in a "western (read friendly) environment" - for those who don't have that opportunity hope for things to get better with time....but for most of my friends - that is the "right" way, "the protocol" and something that they are obliged to do...no matter what!!

On a positive note - sometimes we do things which we don't want to - but then at times, what we do is much more important and that is probably the reason why the Japanese, so in love with peace, have learnt to adapt to, accept and so religiously follow this aspect of their culture ....

(I must mention that over the years, I have made some wonderful friendships with some of my colleagues though i had a tough time understanding them in the beginning :)- I guess it is only with time that one can break such cultural and social barriers and I hope all who read this and want to work and live in Japan will achieve it eventually...even though it may take some time....)

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Hotaru no Hikari (Glow of the fireflies)

I am sure you must have heard this 'one' music at closing time (see the link at the end of this para) in shops, department stores, supermarkets, gyms (my gym plays it) and a lot of other places in Japan. All these years, though the thought did occur to me a few times, but I never dwelt much on why all these places played exactly the same music..Thanks to a friend's status message on facebook today, I thought of looking it up on the net and was pleasantly surprised to find what I did :) It turns out that the music is from the 'Japanese version' of the English (originally Scottish) song that I have loved for the past couple of years (I heard it for the first time in the movie 'Sex and the City') No wonder the music sounded familiar but wasn't quite able to place it.

(http://classic-midi.com/midi_player/uta/uta_hotaru.htm - the music)

'Auld Lang Syne' (means "times gone by") - is a Scots song written by Robert Burns, set to the tune of a traditional folk song and is very popular in the 'English speaking world' (quoted from Wikipedia). Traditionally sung at the stroke of midnight on New Year's eve to welcome the new year, it marks the end of an year and the beginning of a new one. Symbolizing "end" or a "new beginning", whichever way we choose to look at it, the song is also sung at funerals, graduation ceremonies, farewells, and other such occasions.

The Japanese version 'Hotaru no Hikari' (蛍の光, means Glow of the fireflies), the lyrics of which are quite different from the original Scottish version, is sung mostly on graduation ceremonies in Japan (and of course at the end of business day at all other places that I mentioned above). Composed in the 19th century, it is now so well integrated in the Japanese society that most of the Japanese do not realize that the original song is not from Japan. Chikai Inagaki, who was a teacher at the Tokyo National School of Fine Arts & Music, is believed to be the composer of the Japanese version, though this is yet to be confirmed.

I love the lyrics of both the English and the Japanese versions - the verse of the Japanese version denoting a lot of things such as the diligence of the students who studied in the night by the light of the fireflies (which is where the name comes from) long back when there was not much of electricity, parting or farewell (and death), and also a farewell to students who were sent to war after they graduated from high school (World war II, i believe)

Thus, partly symbolizing an end , it is sung at the end of the business day in many places in Japan to say 'goodbye' or 'see you' and is a polite request to the shoppers, members (of a gym), etc to finish whatever they are doing and leave (in time).

Also sung in many other parts of the world, it has different connotations in every country.

Note: In India, the melody was the direct inspiration for the popular Bengali song "Purano shei diner kotha" (Memories of the Good Old Days) composed by Nobel laureate Rabindranath Tagore, and forms one of the more recognisable tunes in Rabindra Sangeet (Rabindra's Songs), a body of work of 2,230 songs and lyrical poems that form the backbone of Bengali music.(quoted from Wikipedia)

Lyrics of the Japanese version (with English translation)

(source: a post in Yahoo groups)

hotaru no hikari, mado no yuki. (Light of fireflies, snow by the window)
fumi yomu tsukihi, kasanetsutsu.(Many suns and moons spent reading)
itsushika toshi mo, sugi no to wo. (Years have gone by without notice)
aketezo kesa wa, wakare yuku. (Day has dawned; this morning we part)

tomaru mo yuku mo, kagiri tote ( Stay or leave, either an end)
katami ni omofu, chiyorozu no (Think as mementos; so many)
kokoro no hashi wo, hitokoto ni (Corners of my heart, in one word)
sakiku to bakari, utafu nari. (Sing for peace)

tsukushi no kiwami, michi no oku (Far reaches of Kyushu, far along roads)
umi yama tohoku, hedatsu tomo (Though separated by seas and mountains)
sono magokoro wa, hedate naku (Its sincere heart is not.)
hitotsu ni tsukuse, kuni no tame. (Serve single-mindedly for our country)

chishima no oku mo, okinawa mo (From the ends of Chishima to Okinawa),
yashima no uchi no, mamori nari. (All part of Japan)
itaran kuni ni, isa o shiku. (Contribute to our great country)
tsutomeyo wagase, tsutsuganaku (I'll faithfully devote my life)

***It is also a popular Manga in Japan

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Finding your way around the streets of Tokyo

It is not difficult to loose yourself in the streets of Japan, especially Tokyo....but finding your way back isn't difficult either...thanks to the extensive road signs/maps on the streets and the extremely helpful people that I have come across so far.(A couple of my friends have not had very good experiences when asking for directions but I have been lucky ...thankfully!!)

The house numbering system in Japan is pretty complicated and chaotic, at least for those who are new to the country. Most of the cities are basically divided into numbered zones(sub-area) and and the houses within each zone are labelled in the order which they were constructed and this is especially true of Tokyo. So building no 1 and 2 may be blocks away instead of being adjacent to each other. Even the veteran taxi drivers sometimes have a hard time locating an address. This is one reason why you will see that most of the companies/public institutions/etc usually provide an "access map" dotted with a couple of "landmarks" to make it easier for people to find their way.

I remember getting lost once when I was quite new to the country and wanted to get to the city's international center. I was already a bit late for an event I was to participate in and after struggling with the map on the roadside for a few minutes, I finally gave in - It was then i saw one gentleman loading bags into his big car....with about 7-8 kids tagging along holding smaller bags. I asked him for the directions and he was like - "you seem to be new here. You mind if I take you to the international center? ".I was kind of hesitant initially....but surprisingly I ended up shaking my head with a "Yes please". He, along with his kids, got into the car and dropped me off at the center.

When i tell this incident to my Japanese friends they are like "I cannot believe you did that", "C'mmon, Japan is safe country but you cannot go and sit inside a stranger's car". I realized later that I should not have done what I did...but thankfully it ended well :) Jokes apart, almost all the Japanese I have met so far have been very courteous when helping me with the directions. (No, I never sat in anybody's car after that :))

In fact, the Japanese are very good at reading and understanding maps, probably because they are taught to read and use maps right from when they are kids in junior school. I have seen very small school kids with these small neighbored maps in their hands wandering around the streets trying to locate some place or the other. I remember asking one of the kids once what he was up to and he told me it was a school assignment. He had been asked to locate the local convenience store and buy a couple of things from there.

So as you see, they start quite early and only get better with age. I have experienced that many times , and I am sure many of you have had similar experiences too :)

Note: Never go too close when asking for directions..maintain a healthy distance or they may get scared and completely ignore you. Only when you see they seem comfortable talking to you, should you go near.

Example of numbering system in Japan:

Wikipedia explains the numbering system in an easy to understand manner. Please see the link below:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Japanese_addressing_system

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Nemawashi - 'a management technique' ?

Nemawashi - literally meaning 'going around the roots' (ne = roots; mawasu = go around), is a Japanese word which is quite difficult to interpret effectively, although it may be often translated as "laying the groundwork". Sometimes difficult for foreigners to understand, it is deeply embedded into the Japanese (work) culture.

As most of us are probably aware, 'team-work" is the basis of any work that is taken up in Japan, be it business, sports, or anything else. 'Individualism', per say does not have a place in the Japanese society. In order for any team work to succeed, it is very important that there be a consensus amongst the team members, and nobody understands this better than the Japanese do. They go to great lengths to avoid any direct conflicts and try to ensure that any kind of decision making happens in the smoothest way possible.

'Nemawashi' is kind of a semi-formal consensus building technique, wherein the person who has a new proposal (be it a change in the current system, or an introduction of a new policy, etc) informally talks to the key stakeholders and decision makers and gathers support and feedback beforehand, much before everybody actually goes into a formal meeting to discuss the proposal.These "informal" discussions can be held in smoking rooms, golf sessions, lunch, drink parties (nomikais), even standing in the corridor, waiting for the elevator. From what I have experienced, it is definitely not an easy job in a set-up where even the so called 'decision makers' rely on and are influenced by others who may not be the actual stakeholders. Unacceptable, eh?

Over the years, I have come to understand that consensus here does not mean compromise. Instead, in the Japanese business scenario it is seen as a way to solicit ideas, suggestions if any and create a better understanding of what one wants to propose. This way, when all the key-stakeholders are involved, it becomes comparatively difficult for anyone to resist or oppose the idea, especially when they have been involved with it since its conception, unless of course if the idea not at all feasible, in which case it will usually be 'rooted out' in the initial meetings itself and will not/may not reach the big bosses.

The process is undoubtedly very slow, and at times has been very frustrating for me. It is ambiguous, obscure and very unlike how business is done in many parts of the world, where one takes an idea to a formal meeting straightaway and gets on with the proposal.It is often not seen as a "democratic" process by many as they feel there are a lot of "behind the scenes" discussions involved.

With all its so called "drawbacks", Nemawashi has one great advantage, which even the westerners agree with - by getting everybody 'on board' right from the beginning, the method ensures that once a decision has been agreed upon, the execution is very rapid and free of any major obstructions, which may otherwise impede the process of implementation of an individual's idea in the western world. In fact, very recently a lot of non-Japanese business entrepreneurs and management gurus have observed and proposed that this as an "effective management technique" to get one's idea across and get it accepted, even in the western world.

It has given big institutions greater adaptability and has been a key factor in the success of so many of the Japanese companies, Toyota, being on of them. (The book - "The Toyota way - 14 management principles", talks about this as an important ingredient for its success -> Make decisions slowly by consensus, thoroughly considering all options; implement decisions rapidly (nemawashi).)

So next time when you see your colleagues working at it, don't be impatient...just wait till you see the results :) and you will be pleasantly surprised!!

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Kimono - the traditional dress

Kimono - is a traditional Japanese dress, worn by men, women and kids. The literal translation of the word is "something to wear" (Ki = wear; mono = thing). It is a T-shaped, straight line robe, which comes in all types of designs and quality, some of which are extremely rich and expensive.

Unlike India, where the "Saree" (traditional dress of India) is worn on daily basis by many, Kimono is usually reserved for special occasions like weddings, tea ceremonies, burials, etc, one of the reasons being that it is extremely difficult to wear a kimono. The picture above will give you a fair idea of the complexity of the garment. Not shown in the picture are a lot of other accessories that go with it - inner linings, ropes & ties, obi (belt), a bow (for the back), tabi (special white socks), Geta (special wooden sandals), etc.

Brides usually wear a "pure white" kimono (Shiromuku)on the day of the wedding with an elaborate hairpiece (Wataboshi - equivalent of a bridal veil). Wearing white by the brides has a special significance. As the bride leaves one family and enters a new one, she wears white so that "she can take on the colors of the groom's family".

The groom wears a black kimono carrying the family crest, a pleated skirt (hakama ) and a half-length black coat (haori)

(Along with the headgear, the bride also wears a traditional hair piece wig (Tsunokakushi) - it literally means "hiding horns". Hiding the horns signifies that the women will be obedient to their husbands. The idea comes from a folklore which says that when women are jealous, they grow horns - reminds me of the devil from the Onida color TV ad....:))

My first experience of wearing a kimono was at a family friend's house in Osaka. The lady of the house had a lot of extremely beautiful Kimonos and wanted me to try one :).........and believe me, it was a huge task. Not that I wore it myself, of course she helped me with it, but it took almost 40 minutes to get the whole thing in place. But once done it looked absolutely gorgeous - worth every bit of the effort that went into it. Oh.but that was not all..I could hardly walk. and what's more..my friend taught us the traditional "tea ceremony" that day ...with the Kimono on, which was fun and a good learning experience....but phew!! extremely tiring...all in all, it was a wonderful experience but at the end of it, I was happy to be out of the Kimono and back into my denims...:)

I got to wear the dress once more and that was at Hotel Higashi Nihon in Utsunomiya. The hotel has a professional studio where I was dressed up in a beautiful and rich Kimono by the studio employees. I remember it took almost 2 hours for us to dress-up (with all the accessories and the make-up). Once ready, they took proper professional photographs of me in Kimono in a variety of poses and gifted them to us. (was arranged as a gift by my school) Those photographs are one of the best souvenirs that I have from the country.

One very important thing to remember when wearing a kimono is when wrapping it around the body, it should always be the 'left side over the right side'.....it is only when dressing the dead for the burial, the kimono is wrapped the other way round, that is 'right side over the left side. I am not sure about the significance.) I will have to check and get back.)

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Omikoshi - wa-shai, wa-shai!!

Omikoshi is an honorific term for Mikoshi - a portable Shinto shrine. (In Japanese, O is a prefix that is usually added to the names of objects to make them sound polite) It resembles a miniature temple building, with the roof usually holding a carved Phoenix. (a phoenix is usually considered a symbol of re-birth, but I am not sure about the significance in this case. I will have to check with my friends in Japan and will update the info later)

On the day of a matsuri (festival), people carry the Mikoshi on their shoulders by means of two or four poles, through the streets of their neighborhood in a procession that usually lasts for a few hours. At the time of the procession, the Mikoshi is decorated very lavishly as the Shinto followers believe that it serves as a vehicle for God/divine spirit at that time. The whole structure is quite heavy..believe me...I carried one for the whole time the procession was on ....and my shoulders ached for months :) .....Usually, people take turns in carrying the shrine, but I loved carrying it and did not want to budge from my place on the side of the shrine. The mood at that time is ecstatic..the hapi (a special coat) and tabi (special socks) that I got to wear, the shouts of "wa shai...wa shai" - over and over again, the music and the sweat :)...it was just amazing....i did not wanted to miss a single minute of it.

The shrine was first taken to a Shinto temple, basically to let the kamisama (god) or the divine spirit to enter the Mikoshi. It was then taken around the streets of the neighborhood to bring fortune to homes and local businesses in the area. The neighbors set up small stalls every few hundred meters of the procession route, offering water and eatables to the participants of the procession. As the festival is held in summers (i think I mentioned sweat in the para above ;) )...these stalls are real lifesavers, especially for the people carrying the Mikoshi. I remember my friend making me drink water from a straw as both my hands were wrapped around the Mikoshi pole....:) I am sure I gave them a hard time during the procession though they have never mentioned it to me :) ....of course I did get to hear that "I told you not to carry it that long..look at your shoulder now"..stuff....but that is OK...;)

The Mikoshi was then bought back to the shrine...for the divine spirit to return to the temple and take rest. Oh yes, there was tug-of-war after that .Actually, there are a lot of Mikoshi seen on the road that day as each neighborhood has one of its own. So once all the processions end, each one of this neighborhood forms a team and holds various competitions, which are a lot of fun....and yes, i'd like to mention that our team won in the tug-of-war. Finally, in the end, everybody sat down to have a meal together, chit chatting, and enjoying till late in the night....(I have an interesting snap from that day which I will share later :) as I need to find it...)

I had a great time that day and the experience of participating in the matsuri and carrying the Omikoshi is just unforgettable!!

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Karaoke - some singing and a lot of fun

Karaoke - is a portmanteau of two Japanese words - Kara (empty) and Oke (from Orchestra). Although the word is Japanese, whether or not this favorite pastime of many in Japan was invented here or not, is a matter of dispute till date. Some claim it was invented by a Japanese musician named Daisuke Inoue. There are others who claim that it were the Filipino musicians who migrated to Japan way back in 1960, who bought this form of music to the country. Well, for most of us who enjoy Karaoke, it does not matter much,does it? :)

My first experience with Karaoke was in the year 1999 when I was working as a trainee in Utsunomiya, Tochigi. Our Shacho (CEO of a company) had organized a company trip to Kinugawa Onsen, a famous hot spring resort in north eastern Japan.(In Japan, such company outings, at least a couple of times in an year, are pretty common).We stayed at the onsen resort for a night, about 20 of us, and had dinner at the resort restaurant which, as it turned out to be was a Karaoke restaurant. It had a stage which had a huge Karaoke system (player, screens, microphones,etc) placed on it. Each one of us took turns going on to the stage to sing various Japanese/English songs of our choice (we had to select from a list of pre-recorded songs that were displayed on the screen)

That was my first ever 'public performance' as a 'singer' :) .....a bathroom singer that I had been, it was not easy singing on the stage in front of such large 'audience'. I remember being very shy and it took quite some cajoling by my friend, also a fellow colleague, to convince me to go onto the stage. I was new in Japan that time and hardly knew any of the Japanese songs listed on the system screen. The only option I had was "hotel California" by eagles. Thankfully, I was an 'eagles' fan that time and knew the song well....and sing I did :) and it turned out to be a 'huge success'.....everybody loved it and asked me to sing again :)....not that i am a good singer...but the mood, the background music, (and thanks to the lot of noise of people screaming, shouting and singing along), it was a big hit ;)

Thereafter, that song became my "juhachiban' :) (Many karaoke singers have that one song which they are especially good at and which they use to show off their singing abilities :) - that is called their Juhachiban.)

Since then, I have been to a lot of Karaoke parties with friends and colleagues and am kinda getting better each time :) In fact, as I mentioned above, it is one of the most popular past times in Japan. There are Karaoke bars/parlors/restaurants all over the country, which usually have a private room fully equipped with a karaoke player, screen and microphones. The rooms are available in all sizes, from rooms meant for two people to large party rooms, where you can go with your family and friends to enjoy Karaoke. You can even order food and drinks inside the room. The rate is around 1000-1500 yen/person/per hour and sometimes comes with an all you can eat/drink deals.

Karaoke appeals to people of all ages and status. It is a good way to relax and de-stress after a hectic work day, a perfect way to enjoy with friends and is also a great icebreaker when you go with a new group of friends, or colleagues (like it proved to be for mine) ....and last but not the least - you get to become a 'pop idol', even if it is only for a few hours ;)

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Mono no Aware

物の哀れ(read as "mono no aware") literally means "an empathy towards things" , (mono = things; aware=pitiful)It is a Japanese word basically used to describe the "awareness of impermanence", that things are ephemeral, and that there is usually a sympathetic sadness associated with them.

This term, coined in the late eighteenth century has now eventually become the center of Japanese culture and tradition. The Japanese have a great sensitivity towards this concept and believe that this awareness that everything in this world is temporary, and the understanding that happiness and beauty are always fleeting, increases our appreciation towards things and thus evokes a deep sense of melancholy on their passing.

Sakura (Cherry blossoms) perfectly symbolize this concept. They bloom right after the harsh winters, a symbol of warmth and life after the dead coldness of winters, only to die after a few days.

This has also been a strong recurring theme in almost all the Japanese movies that I have seen so far - out of which the one I remember the most is Okuribito " and "Tokyo.Sora".I have realized that in spite of the anguish and longing that is projected on the screen, not a single movie that I remember seeing has left me with a sense of sadness or depression. Instead, the movies resonate with a sense of optimism and calmness that is unbelievably incredible.

As we all probably know, Japan has experienced a lot of pain in the last few decades, right from the post-world war days and the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki to the many devastating earthquakes/tsunamis, including the very recent 9.0M earthquake that rocked north-eastern part of the country. All through these difficult years, the Japanese seemed to have mastered this concept of "mono no aware" and this has been quite visible in their behavior and attitude every time a great tragedy has befallen this beautiful island nation. This, almost Zen like acceptance that they have for things tragic is unbelievable.

I understand that to many of us foreigners, this concept may sound very odd and difficult to accept. Yet, this is the essence of Japan and its people, and also the supreme reality - something which cannot be altered, no matter what we do, no matter where we go.

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It's a dog's life - and what a life it is..

Going to Japan being my first ever trip abroad, I remember being shocked and amazed when I saw this little dog, wearing a very smart pink dress, with matching clips in its "hair" being pushed in what I thought was a "baby pram" by an elderly lady. It actually took me some time to believe what I saw that day. I had never seen something like that ever before :)

That is not a baby pram my dear, said my friend...it is a "dog pram" and it is very common in Japan. Don't be surprised when you see people carrying their dogs in their arms in shopping malls, in trains, and everywhere else...and see, I did.....and wondered..."wow"....these dogs have some life out here...I came to understand later that this is very common in other parts of the world as well? but for me, coming from India, where though pets do get a lot of love and affection from their owners, never ever get to live the more 'privileged" life that their counterparts in Japan get to enjoy :D

Dogs, dressed up in smart clothes (I saw one wearing denim shots and jacket :)) are a common sight out here. Shopping malls have dedicated corners, where you get all kinds of pet stuff, that includes 'designer' clothes, accessories, prams, cots, toys and everything and anything you can imagine buying for your "toddler" :) There are dog saloons, where you can get your pet all kinds of haircuts/hairstyles. They have "pet spas", pet restaurants', pet creche, and a pet washing machine too. It is supposed to guarantee to turn the pongiest pooch into the cuddliest of canines within minutes. A wash, spin and blow dry costs just under 1500 Yen a time.

The demand for "pet-friendly" homes in Japan is on the rise.

Pets, specially dogs, in Japan are not seen as "home-guards", as the country's crime(theft) rates are almost nil. They are most often seen as companions who enjoy a status almost equal to the kids in the household. Pets are even sent to schools to learn "pet manner" and the usual animal tricks. What else can your pet ask for?

Almost every time I see a dog like that, I cannot help thinking (being an Indian and believer in the concept of Karma and re-birth) - these guys must have done something really great in their past lives to enjoy a lifestyle that they do out here :)

A dog is a man's best friend. Here in Japan, it seems like man has also proved to be a dog's best friend :)

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Sakura - Hanami

Sakura - is one of the most beautiful and most "loved" flowers of Japan and has a very prominent position in the country's culture. I have never seen a country "celebrate" a flower as much as the Japanese do. Blooming of the beautiful flower, which blooms only for a few 'glorious' days every year, is awaited almost impatiently throughout the country. So passionate are they about the flower that they have "Sakura viewing" parties (Hanami) during the days it is in full bloom. It like a picnic wherein friends and family get together under Sakura trees and eat and drink and have fun.

This concept of Hanami came into vogue long back in the Heian period when Sakura trees were planted in Japan for their beauty and grandeur, especially in Kyoto, the then capital of Japan. It was originally limited to the 'elite' of the imperial court but soon spread to include the common people as well.

Sakura starts to bloom in the end of March in the south and steadily moves upwards throughout the month. The blossom forecast is announced every year by the weather bureau and is watched carefully by those who are planning "Hanami". Hanami parties are held in the mornings and even at the night. The "night Sakura" or yozakura is also very beautiful and enjoyed and celebrated by many.

I remember my first Hanami party from almost a decade ago when all my colleagues from the company I was working as a trainee got together in "Hachimanyama", a park full of Sakura trees, in Utsonomiya. We reached the park around noon and it was full of people. In fact it took us some time to locate a tree under which we could sit.

I can never forget how beautiful the park looked that day .The mood was just amazing. I had never seen my so called "workaholic" colleagues so relaxed till then and it was good to see them finally talking about something other than work :) . We stayed there till midnight (that was one long picnic ;)) and enjoyed the Yozakura, sang songs, listened to music and chit chatted the whole day long. (some energy)

Since then I have been to many Hanami parties and surprisingly, I feel almost the same enthusiasm and excitement as I felt the very first time. Sakura never fails to uplift my mood even after all these years.

Note: Sakura is seen by the Japanese as a metaphor for life itself, beautiful but lasting only for a short time. Many poems and songs have been written on Sakura and this "temporary" view of life. There is one very old and a famous poem which reads- " 散りぬべき　時知りてこそ　世の中の　花も花なれ　人も人なれ" . It basically means, that Human beings, like flowers, are beautiful because they have a short life span and eventually die. (Nobody would value flowers so much if they were never to wilt and die)

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Learning to bow - Ojigi

Incidentally, this is also the name of the book that I am reading right now. But what I write here is not about the book It is about the "art of bowing", which is an integral part of the Japanese society. Believe me, it is not easy. Anybody would think, what is so difficult about bowing...you are in for a surprise :)

Bowing, in the Japanese custom, is used to apologize and is also a gesture of gratitude. People perform some form of ojigi to apologize, to bid guests farewell, to express gratitude, to greet others, or even to introduce themselves.

I have learned through experience that the longer and deeper the bow, the more the emotion or the greater the difference in social standing between the two parties. I did not realize this initially and ended up bowing usually shorter than needed, more often with just a slight tilt of my head.

Now I understand how rude I must have seemed back then.

After almost 10 years in Japan, I "think" that i fairly understand what kind of a situation/person asks for what "degree" and "length" of bow.

But believe me, it took quite some struggle to reach here. It isn't easy, especially when it is associated with respect/gratitude towards the other person/party. You cannot take a risk, can you? Not in Japan, at least, although I have heard through friends that Japanese usually do not expect foreigners to bow and don't mind a handshake either.

Well, after all those years of working at it, I better do it - bow appropriately and appear polite and well aware of the Japanese culture :)...and not just another "gaijin"(foreigner)

Note the difference between how men and women bow.

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Communal bathing

I stayed in Utsunomiya (Tochigi prefecture) for exactly an year during my first ever visit to Japan. I remember staying in a girl's hostel in a pretty small room, which I had to share with a fellow scholar. It had a bunk bed (phew!! imagine sleeping in one when you are in your early twenties :)) and one small carpet. That is it...there was no TV, no PC, nothing. I got to sleep in the "upper berth" of the bunk bed and i tell you it was painful...every time I wanted to drink water, fetch a book or something else, or go to the restroom, i had to climb up and down the ladder. Then there were the frightening "earthquakes" every night. I mean almost every night I used to get up with the bed shaking only to realize that my friend below had just changed sides while sleeping :) (Eventually we dismantled the whole thing and made two separate beds out of it. What a relief it was)

My stay at the hostel was a pretty eventful one I should say. Lots of surprises, good and bad and some funny experiences of which one particular "experience" is something I can never forget.

The "bathing ritual" . I am not sure how many foreigners who have never been to Japan know this but there is this system of a "common bath" in the country. Since we lived in a hostel, we had a common bathing area for all the occupants of the hostel. You can imagine our plight when we were asked to use that for our daily bathing. The thought itself was so dreadful that we promised ourselves we were never ever going to even try it, no matter what.

After much ado, we finally found a way around the torture. We took bath in turns, with one person standing outside the "ofuro" door and making sure nobody else entered when one of us was taking a bath....and we did that for the full one year we stayed there. Thankfully, most of the Japanese girls living in the hostel understood us quite well and were very cooperative (except one, but that was OK)

It was not until a couple of years back that I have come to understand and accept this practice of communal bathing in "Ofuro", "Onsen" or "Sento", and surprisingly I love every bit of it now - the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of leaving Japan is "Oh...i am going to miss the Onsens" ...:) strange..eh?

You really need to try going to one to understand what I mean.

Why the practice? Japanese believe in the virtues of "naked communion" (裸の付き合い hadaka no tsukiai^?), a practice wherein people are stripped off any unnecessary barriers that may inhibit free communication. They feel that this way, without any pretense or show, we have no choice but to be our true selves.

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Train Etiquette in Japan

You do not expect to see words like run, rush, push when you talk about etiquette. Yet, it is very common in Japan to experience this when traveling in trains. Of course, it is not only about running and pushing, but about being silent, giving seat to elders/expecting mothers/etc and a lot more - all this an important part of the "train manner" in Japan.

For some weird reason the Japanese are usually rushing - to nowhere. I would understand if it was only in the mornings or when people are trying to get onto a train. But that is how it is even in the evenings, people just get out of the train and start running. Aren't they supposed to be going home at this hour? Then why the rush? Of course, I would love to get back home at the earliest possible, take off my shoes, and relax. But why run? this is something which I have failed to understand in all these years.

If you do manage to get to the train in time and it is crowded with people, just push yourself in. Pushing your way into the train is not considered rude....so if you don't get a space to stand, well just push and make some...

Oh but push with your body, never with your hands....and it should be a polite but firm push....and not a jolt :)....

In fact, train station has "pushers" - basically people whose job is to push the people into the train and make sure the door closes and locks before the train moves.

Here is an interesting video you may want to see to get an idea how it works :)

Note: This is not a usual scenario everywhere so do not think you will have to deal with it when you are in Japan.

Once inside the train, you will realize that nobody is talking. Almost everybody on the train can basically be divided into four categories. The "music lovers" who have headphones on and are listening to music, the "fiddlers" who just fiddlie around with their mobile phones/Nintendo DS, the "readers" - who love to read - newspapers, books, magazines, comics (manga), in fact Japanese are known to be extremely fond of reading ..and last but not the least - the "sleepers" ....i mean they definitely have some secret ability to sense the "stations" they have to get off at. No matter how deep in sleep they seem to be in, they will get up immediately as soon as the train arrives on the platform. There are the occasional "talkers" too...but they are usually whispering except of course the teenage girls...but you can never get to stop them, can you? ;)

(The poster above is one of the many posters that you will see inside the trains in Japan asking people to follow the train manners)

Remember : there are priority seats reserved for the elderly, expecting mothers, adults with babies/toddlers, and wounded people/people with disabilities. And never forget to switch off your mobile phones when you are near these seats. At all other places inside the train, it is okay to keep the phone on but strictly on "manner mode" ...you don't want to be stared at or sometimes rebuffed by some elderly lady if you don't follow the "manner" ....

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The train journey

The very first time I sat in a bullet train was in January 1999, from Tokyo to Utsunomiya city (Tochigi prefecture), the place that was to be my (second) home for the next one year. My first ever ride in one of the fastest, and most luxuriously comfortable trains in the world... I do want to mention here that the train arrived and departed from the station dot on time, precise to the minute.

The very first thing I noticed (or felt) was the silence. Not a noise - pin drop silence. One of the things foreigners realize when traveling in trains in Japan is that nobody talks. At least most of them. It felt as if the bullet train was also trained to do just that - trained to obey the "manner" that most of the Japanese so diligently follow throughout their lives.

The other thing I noticed was that despite the chart-topping speed of almost 250-300Kms/hour, it was a surprisingly smooth ride. I did not have to hold on to my glass of water or my "bento" while eating. They stayed right where I put them on my table and did not move an inch.

Buying a "Bento" is an integral part of the "pre-boarding ritual" for most of the travelers. It involves the careful selection and buying of a bento at the station, accompanied by bottled tea for the journey ahead. The selection of "bentos" at train stations is amazing, and the boxes are almost a piece of art – ranging from the very simple to the more elaborate ones - the “character bento” (kyaraben, kyara=character, ben =bento) decorated to look like popular Japanese cartoon characters or “picture bento” decorated to look like people, animals, plants or places.

I am not particularly fond of Japanese food even after all these years but the thought of buying a bento and boarding the Shinkansen never fails to excite me even now.

After a journey that lasted for about 50 minutes, we arrived at the Utsonomiya station, tired and weary eyed, with not a trace of energy left in us after the long plane and then the train journey, desperately in need for some sleep. But our school had other plans and it was only a start of a long long day. At least that is how it felt that day...

'True to the notion of the journey being more important than the destination, travelling by bullet train that day was one of my most memorable experiences.'

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How did it all start

"You have a flair for languages" - a friend told me once.(I picked up Persian pretty quickly when I was a kid and was pretty fluent at it. My Persian friends used to tell me that I sounded almost like a native.) That is when i decided I wanted to learn another language.

A few months later I enrolled myself for a hobby course in Japanese language at the embassy school - that is after my dad suggested that I take up the language. He somehow felt it was a better choice and also he wanted me to take up something which was different from what others were choosing. (It was not a popular choice back then in 1996 as almost everybody who took up

language as a hobby or profession, pursued either French or German and I had almost made up my mind to learn either of the two)

I never realized back then that - that decision on that day would end up shaping my career and in a way my life..........

I am not at all being modest when I say that I was not a high scorer in school or college but I excelled at Japanese. I still don't know if I have a flair for languages but yes, I did fall in love with the language. Learning Kanjis to me was fun. I loved practicing and memorizing Kanjis. My friend used to call me a "walking dictionary of Kanjis" .....and after learning the language for 3 years i got a scholarship to work and study in Japan for an year.

I landed in Japan on 13th of January, 1999 - on Lohri, considered to be an auspicious day in India. It was an early winter morning. and guess what - i saw Mt Fuji the very first day...and I saw it from the cockpit of the plane (The pilot/air-hostess offered me to come over to the cockpit and see around if I wanted to.....:) good for them that I was not a hijacker;) ........and when we flew over Mt. Fuji, the captain told me - there...you see...that is Mt. Fuji.....and i still cannot forget the site of it...it stood tall and beautiful wearing the famous "ice cap" and every bit as beautiful as I had always imagined it to be....and much much more..

(A legend has it that if you see Mt. Fuji once, you definitely get a chance to see it again at least once. Mt. Fuji never forgets you and almost always calls you back once for sure)

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Why Japan?

Why Japan? In the last 15 years of my association with the country, almost everybody I meet and tell that i work in Japan invariably asks me this question at least once. (well, sometimes they don't seem pretty convinced with the answer and end up with more questions) After all, there are much better places/countries to work in. How about the language? Isn't it almost impossible to learn the language. How do you manage to remember all those Kanjis (pictoral script). Isn't it tough working with people who have work on their mind all the time..such workaholics.........and the list of questions is endless.

I am sure you can understand that it has not been an easy job for me convincing people, especially close friends and relatives as to why I chose Japan and not US, Australia, etc - the much sought after destinations for working/living. It is not that I need to or I have to...it is just that sometimes i feel like it.....to make them understand that Japan has a lot more to it than just the "all work" attitude, Kanjis and Manga and yes, Geisha.I will not deny the fact that I had a pretty hard time convincing myself in the beginning :) ...and after all these years, I still have a kind of love and hate relationship with the country. But of course, after this long association with the country, i am "to an extent" able to understand the "why" behind so many things that I failed to understand initially.

This blog of mine is an effort to share with you all that I have experienced, felt and understood of the country and it's people. This will be an evolving blog....it will be a journey that I take with you....as we together explore the land of the rising sun.

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